Penn Relays, Drake Relays, we love you. But you ain't the SPIKES Cartoon Relays.

It started with one simple question: who would win in a 200m race between Sonic the Hedgehog and Usain Bolt?

Then the internet happened and it turned into a sophisticated debate about drive phases, cadence and team dynamics. Kind of.

As big fans of mixed relays, we chose a boy-girl combo that combines speed, strength and hedgehogs.

As David Verburg taught us, you need a reliable third and anchor leg. This pair wouldn’t let you rest.

Might want to ask Bo about this next proposition.

No teleporting in our relays. It’d be the women’s 200m heats from Beijing 2015 all over again. Bonus points for having teammembers whose names rhyme, though.

As long as the baton exchange takes place in the changeover box, his arms can stretch as long as he likes. HAND!

Determining who’s not going to make the cut is a heartwrenching but essential process. Can’t risk this pair of butterfingers.


Team experience prevails over raw speed. Feel the magic, hear the roar.

And of course it’s not just about the 4x100m.

All performances have been taken into consideration. Now it’s down to the selectors to decide who goes to Rio.